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A Candidate for initiation was to be picked up
and driven to the Lodge, but before this could happen the car broke
down. The Candidate said as it was no great distance he would go on his
bicycle.
Just when he reached the top of the hill his chain broke.
As the Lodge was at the bottom of the other side and all he needed was a
backpedal brake, so he repaired the chain with a cord he had in his
pocket and free-wheeled downhill to the Lodge.
Later that evening in
reply to a toast in his honor, he said how proud he was to be a
Freemason but could not understand, as he had told no one, how the WM
knew that he had come on his own free wheel and a cord.
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John the farmer was in the fertilized egg
business.
He had several hundred young (hens) layers, called
pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the
eggs. The farmer kept records, and
any rooster that didn't perform
went into the soup pot and was replaced.
That took an awful lot of
his time so he bought sets of tiny bells and attached them to his
roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a
distance which rooster was performing. So, now he could sit on the porch
and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmers favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he
was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell
hadn't rung at all. John went to investigate. The other roosters were
chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters
coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had
his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do
his job and proceed to the next one.
John was so proud of Butch, he
entered him in the county fair, where Butch became an overnight
sensation among the judges. The result:
The judges not only awarded
Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the
"Pulletsurprise" as well.! |
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A tired old mason whose hair was gray,
Came
to the gates of Heaven one day,
When asked, what on earth he had
done the most,
He said he had replied to the Visitors Toast.
St.
Peter said, as he tolled the Bell,
Come inside my Brother you've had
enough of Hell. |
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Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a
flight in a hot air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between
them and the ground. Being without instruments, after half an hour they
realized that they were well and truly lost.
A short time later
there came across a large hole in the cloud and espied a gentleman below
walking his dog across a field. They had time to exchange pleasantries
and found that he too was a member of the Craft.
The chaps in the
balloon inquired of him as to their location and received the reply,
"About 200 feet up in a balloon." Just then the cloud closed the hole
and they were alone again.
One turned to the other and said, " I bet
he's the Secretary of his Lodge!"
"Why do you say that?", the other
asked.
"Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our
present predicament is totally useless!" |
Some few years back, just after the introduction
of Random Breath Testing, the Police officers of a small country
township had to show the community that the RBT was working. They
decided to stake out the local Masonic Hall, then as the night wore on,
eventually a mason slowly came down the stairs and got into his car.
The moment he started the engine the two officers approached him and
asked him to "blow into the bag". He did of course but to the amazement
of the officers proved negative. Fearing a faulty bag tried again, with
the same results. Sure of a possible conviction they then escorted him
to the Police station to do a blood test, with it also proving negative.
Being upset with this they then asked him what had gone on and what
he had done that evening, to which he answered, "The Grand Master was
there, the Grand Secretary was there, the Grand Stewards were there and
we all had a great time, as to my job I was the Grand
Decoy". |
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Kiss me
quick..
Paddy was going home from
the lodge meeting one evening, when a frog on the pavement called out to
him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
Without a word, he bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket.
The creature spoke up again, louder this time, and said, "If
you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with
you for a year and do anything you want."
Paddy took the frog out of
his pocket, smiled at it and then returned it back to the pocket. The
frog then cried out desperately, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
princess, I'll stay with you forever and have your children!"
Again
Paddy took the frog out, smiled at it benignly and put it back into his
pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, with tears in its eyes, "What IS
the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with
you forever and do anything you want.
WHY won't you kiss me?"
Paddy said, "Look, I'm a Master Mason. A girlfriend just takes
up time when I could be learning lectures. But a talking frog, now
that will get me a free drink in the bar !"
Courtesy : Website of Lodge St. Patricks, no. 5742 |
And seriously -
Do You Just Belong ?..
Are you an active
member
the kind that would be missed
or are you just contented
that your name is on the list?
Do you attend the meetings
and mingle with the crowd,
or do you stay at home
and moan
both long and loud?
Do you take an active part
to help the lodge
along
or are you you satisfied
to be the kind to "just belong"
?
Do you ever go to visit
a member who is sick
or leave the
work for just a few
and talk about the clique?
There is quite a
program scheduled
that means success if done
and it can be
accomplished
with the help of everyone.
So attend your meetings
regularly
and help with hand and heart.
Do not be just a
member,
but take an active part!
Think this over, Brother...
are we right or are we wrong ?
Are YOU an active member ?
Or
do you - Just Belong ...?
W.
Bro T R Harrison,
Sir George Clarke Memorial Lodge 669
IC |